Dr. Gabor Maté, a pioneer in the field of conquering addiction, advocates a compassionate approach toward those with substance use disorders. He is known for quotes such as:
“The question is not why the addiction, but why the pain?”
For so many years, the prevailing wisdom was that some people were prone to addiction while others were not. And to some extent, this can be true. Siblings raised in the same environment can develop different coping mechanisms. These siblings may experience hunger, deprivation and worse together and some may eventually become addicted to alcohol or drugs while others won’t. We are all made differently. Some find solace in religion, music or exercise or another pursuit while others turn to substances. For many of those who are addicted to substances though, an underlying fear or disappointment exists that can rise to the level of trauma. Happy people don’t need to escape reality every day.
For every person tempted to label a relatively benign event as trauma, there is another person desperately trying to sweep their trauma under the rug, to label it “no big deal” in an effort to prevent it from harming them.
The dictionary defines trauma as “a deeply distressing or disturbing experience.” But many people can’t even remember the trauma that triggered their addiction or dysfunction. So how can it be a trauma then?
Trauma exists on a wide spectrum, and what is trauma to one person is not necessarily trauma to another. It’s a very personal experience. As much as you try to tell yourself — or your parents, significant others, siblings or friends try to tell you — that thinking what happened to you as trauma is silly and that you should just move on, trauma doesn’t work that way.
In fact, some traumas may have happened to you when you were a tiny infant, or before you were even born. Highly sensitive people have reactions to events many others do not notice or remember. When you were still growing in your mother’s womb, or shortly after you were born, you may have overheard fighting or violence taking place, serious accidents occurring or even natural disasters. This can shape you, leaving you hypervigilant, anxious and fearful.
Other traumas may be easier to identify: abusive or neglectful parenting, death of a loved one, sexual assault (one-time or repeated), divorce, difficult relationships, social isolation, educational or workplace failures. Some people have a harder time than others mustering the strength to move past these experiences. There is no shame in that. The sooner you recognize it, the sooner you will be able to address it and get help.
Trauma can result in many kinds of outcomes, including mental illness and addiction. Among the most common trauma-induced mental illnesses that can lead to addiction are PTSD, anxiety and depression.
The term PTSD is often associated with military service and war, but anyone can have PTSD as a result of a traumatic event such as a physical attack, rape, a serious accident or illness, or even witnessing any of these. Victims will often replay the scene in their head over and over, possibly thinking of ways they might have prevented it if they had had the time to think. Unsurprisingly, such rituals usually make the condition worse, and to relieve their suffering, people with PTSD often turn to drugs or alcohol, which may allow them to temporarily forget the trauma and sleep peacefully for periods of time.
Anxiety is another common result of trauma. It can arise in the wake of the types of trauma listed above, or it can come from long-term emotional, sexual, physical or financial abuse or hardship. Anxiety plays out in innumerable ways, such as high reactivity, inability to sleep, relentless pursuit of perfection, extreme weight gain or loss, and even obsessive-compulsive disorder. Sufferers may turn to alcohol and drugs to help temporarily soothe these anxious feelings.
Trauma also often results in depression for the victim. They may experience feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness and be convinced no one cares for them and never will. It can be hard to see beyond the immediate future when you are suffering with depression, and people sometimes seek relief in drugs and alcohol.
The concept, “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters,” has been attributed to various scholars over the years, and it’s a principal tenet of learning how to come to terms with your past so that you can have a future. Often when bad things happen, it seems clear that the victim in the situation didn’t deserve the fate they suffered. None of us is the first one to have been unfairly victimized. The good news is that although we all react to negative events differently, there is a sameness to rectifying our responses so that they are no longer harmful to us.
If they are aware of your trauma, therapists will usually encourage you to confront it. While you don’t have to relive it 24/7, burying it usually doesn’t work. Therapy teaches victims of trauma how to stop being a victim, and once you learn this, everything else gets easier.
Here at Alpine Recovery Lodge, we treat substance use disorders, but many of these have their roots in trauma. Addiction is often a response to life’s difficulties. And one way we help those suffering from addiction to break free of their cravings is to teach them how to build resilience and learn new coping strategies. Your trauma cannot be erased or undone. But your response to it can change. We help you understand that what happened to you isn’t your fault, so that you can let go of the blame, shame, guilt, anger and bitterness. These are only weighing you down and pushing you to turn to drugs and alcohol for relief. You can learn to rely on your own strength — even if you have never been able to rely on anyone else’s. Call us today.
Alpine Recovery Lodge
