Over the last few decades, society’s view of addiction has changed somewhat from shaming and blaming to understanding and having compassion. Today, addiction is less often seen as a moral failing, and instead as part of the broader symptoms of an illness that requires treatment. Nonetheless, some of the repercussions from addiction remain the same, because regardless of the reason for the addiction, the fact is that fallout often results. Below, we discuss some common ways addiction negatively impacts relationships and what you can do to help remedy the situation.
Probably the greatest issue when a habit progresses to addiction is that it can lead to broken trust among family, friends and co-workers. Those who are addicted to drugs, alcohol or both unfortunately often find it necessary to lie to their loved ones. They may lie about all kinds of things, but a common one is whether they have been using. An addicted person may tell their friends and family that they have quit using alcohol or drugs, when they in fact have not. They might have meant it when they said it, intending to follow through, but overcoming addiction on your own without the help of a treatment center is often more difficult than expected. The addicted person is likely disappointed that they were unable to keep their promise, and they don’t want their loved ones to find out for fear they will be angry, sad or even leave them, so they try to pretend they haven’t been using.
Whether the person being lied to is a spouse, child, parent, other relative, friend or boss, it breaks trust that takes time and effort to repair.
When we talk about intimacy, we often think of a romantic partner. Whether it’s a husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend, being addicted to drugs or alcohol can get in the way of intimacy. And we don’t mean just physical intimacy, although that usually suffers as well. When your body is addicted to a substance, you can’t rely on it to work the way it would when you are healthy and sober.
Not being able to engage reliably in physical intimacy puts distance in between you and your partner, rendering your relationship more like a friendship. And if trust is broken, even the friendship might not be strong. Ideally, a partner is there for you to provide love, comfort, support and reassurance, and someone in the throes of addiction is rarely equipped to supply any of these. Partners are left feeling alone and abandoned, often sad and angry.
As disappointing as it is to no longer have a partner to spend time with in the evenings or on weekends, what is more difficult is how it is not unusual for a person addicted to drugs or alcohol to fail to show up for important occasions such as birthdays and holidays.
Intimacy is created through closeness, and if you are no longer close, intimacy is destroyed.
When a person is addicted to a substance, they are not fully available to anyone. It’s hard for them to be a good parent, spouse, friend or employee. They’re keeping secrets, giving the lion’s share of their energy to covering their tracks in an effort to prevent others from finding out what they’re up to. That leaves little bandwidth for simple, daily activities others take for granted, like returning phone calls, keeping appointments, picking children up on time and getting work done.
Some people will ask them if everything is OK. They might think they’re battling a physical illness, having trouble at home or that they just don’t like them anymore. When you don’t have time or energy for others, or you aren’t present even when you’re with them, others begin to slip away from you, and eventually you could find yourself alone with your last source of comfort — the very thing that led to your isolation.
When someone who’s addicted to a substance lives with others, they most assuredly will fall behind in carrying their share of the weight at home. Whether the others are parents and siblings, spouse or significant other, or roommates, they expect everyone to fulfill their obligations as members of the household.
One of the most basic obligations is to contribute toward the rent or mortgage. Addictions are known to drain bank accounts — some more quickly than others, depending on the substance. Not being able to keep up with bills and expenses can lead to serious consequences. Household chores may fall by the wayside. Groceries aren’t bought, lawns aren’t mowed, dishwashers and washing machines aren’t run.
Many people with addictions are also parents. Children count on parents, not just to support them financially, but also to take care of them. Caregiving is a monumental job for even the healthiest adult, so when you’re battling an addiction, you will likely fall short in a lot of areas. You may be unable to drive them to or pick them up from school, activities or other appointments. You may often be in no shape to play with them, tuck them in or show up for important events like recitals and performances.
If you’ve read this far, you’re likely either battling an addiction or living with someone who is. Many people put great effort into trying to beat their addiction on their own, thereby avoiding inpatient rehab. But it’s common knowledge that beating an addiction without help is extremely difficult.
With residential rehab, you not only get knowledge, support and training in how to break your addiction and live a free and sober life, but at Alpine Recovery Lodge, you also get the mental health treatment you need that may be at the root of your addiction. Addiction rarely materializes out of nowhere. Alcohol and drugs alter consciousness and reality, dulling the pain that may be the result of depression, anxiety, PTSD, trauma or one of many other conditions. At Alpine Recovery Lodge, we treat not just the addiction, but also the underlying cause, giving you a better chance at recovery.
Call us today for more information about how we can help you get your life back.
Alpine Recovery Lodge
